12 Most Annoying Terms of 2012

 

2010 banned the phrases that being said andIn these economic times...”, while 2011 left us irritated at words likeviral and epic. This year has its own share of annoying words which cluttered the social media and everyday conversations. Here is my own list of words/phrases which I believe should be left in 2012.

Laters, baby

Aside from the way it was written, there’s another reason for my animosity towards 50 Shades of Grey: the parting salutation made famous by the sadist lead male character. I don’t know which  annoys me more, the hint of domination behind the term “baby” or the inclusion of “s” in the word “later” which has me imagining Christian Grey as Gollum in a suit.

mommy porn

Another cringe-worthy term brought to us by 50 Shades. Well, to be fair, these words aren’t really in the book but they were invented to refer to the type of literature the book represents. I think it’s unfair since a huge chunk of this book’s readers belong to the unmarried and childless population. Most mothers I know actually scoffed at the book’s sex scenes, finding them lame. “You call THAT scandalous?” sneered one friend. Besides, there’s something really disturbing about saying porn and a term of endearment you use for your mother  in the same breath  .

P.S. If you really want “mommy porn”, read Jackie Collins

food porn

Since we’re on the topic of porn already (I have a feeling my blog will be filled with spam comments promoting Viagra, Cialis, and XXX videos soon), here’s another appellation that I just can’t warm up to. Though I know that food, when elaborately styled, can be just as sensual as lovemaking, I am of the opinion that any word related to knocking boots should be left in the bedroom. Also, when I see or hear “food porn”, my mind can’t help but conjure images of Tera Patrick and her posse pouring salad and steak sauce over their naked bodies.

that awkward moment

Here’s an overused phrase we’re all too familiar with. In its lexical definition, an awkward moment is a situation that causes embarrassment. Examples are: buying condoms in the drugstore where your girl friend’s mom is the pharmacist, the silence following a badly-delivered joke, waving back at the stranger you thought was waving at you only to find out that he was waving at the person BEHIND you. Get my drift?

It seems that people have interchanged “awkward” with “random” so posts like “That awkward moment when you find out your crush is in love with your best friend” are found all over Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. Honey, the word you’re looking for is “tragic” and it’s the same word I’d use to describe your vocabulary. Get a dictionary.

this

I don’t know how this word has become a shorthand for “I totally agree”. It seems to lack the street cred that “word” has.

…is love

They say that hate is too strong a word for something you dislike, I say the same goes for love and stuff that you enjoy. Just about anything “is love” for people, from double chocolate ice cream to foot spas to 50% off sales. I admit I sometimes find myself thinking of using this phrase whenever I’m eating chocolates but I stop myself because I know it would be a misnomer. Call me a purist or just plain corny, but I believe very few things are truly representative of love.

hipster

It’s ironic that a word used to denote anything or anyone that goes against pop culture has actually become mainstream.

leggo

I refuse to read it as a contraction of “Let’s go” and will keep on seeing it as a misspelling of a certain brand of construction toys.

brekky/din-din

Brekky and breakfast are both pronounced using two syllables. Ditto with dinner and din-din. Din-din is spelled with more characters than dinner. How do people find these words functional and why do they find them cute? You know what’s worse? People have yet to come up with an annoying nickname for lunch.

swag

Funny how a word which originally meant “stolen goods” has evolved into an attribute that is now much-desired by the male specie. I wonder just how many boys claiming “they got swag” have any idea what a “swagman” really looks like. Hint: It ‘s nowhere close to looking like David Beckham or Will Smith.

friend zone

The friend zone is a myth. It’s just a nomenclature used by individuals to comfort themselves when they’re not yet ready to admit that the object of their affection would never be interested in them.

yolo

I actually love what these letters stand for; they serve as a great reminder to make the most out of life. However, I have an issue with people using “you only live once” as an excuse to do downright stupid, sometimes even illegal, things. “Slept with a married man #yolo”, “shoplifted a candy bar #yolo”, “did meth with my friends #yolo”. Statements like these make me want to reply with “Nice job #ulol” and no, the letters don’t stand for anything.

I wonder what new words we’ll come up with this 2013. 🙂

The Boys’ Room

I knew it was bound to happen; I just didn’t know it would be today.

Aaron, Joshua, and I went to SM Megamall to do some last-minute shopping for the kids of Meritxell Foundation. The mall was crowded but my son was well-behaved while I picked out toys for Leo and Janina’s beneficiaries. We already explained to him that the toys we were buying for that day are for underprivileged kids and not once did he demand that we get something for him.

After the cashier rang up our purchases, we went outside to wait for Rona. My boss, bless her heart, not only sponsored three kids for the foundation but also volunteered to drive us over to the drop-off point in Marikina. While waiting for her, my son suddenly said , “Nanay, CR ako.”

Crap. It was a holiday so I knew the lines to the restroom were probably as long as South Super Highway. Aside from that, Rona was going to show up any minute and it would be rude to keep her waiting. For a brief moment, I was tempted to let him pee anywhere but I remembered my promise not to tolerate such uncouth behavior. Besides, what if we got caught? That would be too embarrassing.

Aaron volunteered to stay behind and keep an eye on the gifts (there were a lot, thanks to my friends) while my son and I sprinted back to the mall. We had to go the lower ground floor to get to the restrooms and were greeted with a blockbuster line in the girls’ powder room. There was no way I could cut through the line because there were also mothers who had toddlers with them.

“Anak, kaya mo bang mag-CR dun sa mga lalake?” I asked Yeoshie.

A flicker of hesitation crossed his face.

I gestured towards the long line. “Anak, ang haba ng pila eh. Mamaya ka pa makaka-weewee.”

“Antay mo ako sa labas, ha?” he requested.

So in he went to the boys’ restroom while I waited right outside, just like a matrona waiting for some young gigolo to make my day. Out of the corner of my eye (direct eye contact with anyone inside would’ve given me either a black eye or an indecent proposal) I saw the janitor look at Yeoshie.

Boss, alam niya na po gagawin, pakituro na lang saan siya pupunta,” I requested the janitor. He obliged and my son was finally able to do his business.

When he went out, he was smiling just like any other person enjoying the relief of having emptied a full bladder. We snuck into the ladies’ room where he washed his hands (no need to fall in line for that).

We got out of the building and I proudly told Aaron what Yeoshie did. The act might have been brought by unavoidable circumstances, but it was gratifying seeing how my son was able to manage.